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Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Inspiration vs Jealousy 
I am trying very hard to live in this moment. I am trying hard to balance many projects of equal priority. I am trying hard to be inspired by other artists but not feeling guilty that I should be tring to do what they are. I fill up my plate at the art project buffet than I look around at others and want a try some of theirs too! I have lots to do and I fight wanting to be doing more. Then I lose my moment. I lose the sheer pleasure of enjoying the painting of the bulldog I am working on. Watching each new "mini smile painting" being finished. Smiling with satisfaction as each webpage links and loads correctly for the website I am creating for a photographer. So why do I still feel like I should be doing more? I guess it goes back to looking at other artist's work. Inspiration versus jealousy. Yes, I said it. And I know you feel it too! We look at someone else and we say we are so happy for them. But we all know deep down that part of us is actually jealous. Why can't I quit my job and do that? Why don't I have a book deal yet? Why don't I have a gallery show? How come I can't take a dream vacation yet? Come on, we all do it. We need to let go of it. I truly think when we let go, find satisfaction in all WE have done it is an amazing thing. Today look at all you HAVE accomplished so far. Write down a list of things you have done so far in your life. You will be pleasantly surprised if not downright proud! I love this online community I am in. Whenever I need a pick me up I check out my favorite sites and realize that these other artsits are just like me, and we all need to support and encourage each other. Then I realize jealousy has no place here, because I have written and either made contact with or friends with so many of these artists. And we all truly want to help each other and encourage each other to succeed. Because then when one of us does get the bookdeal, lands the agent, takes the dream vacation we all breathe a little sigh of relief because then we at least know our dreams are indeed possible. So today I will be satisfied with what I have, what I have done, and what I am going to do. I don't need any new ideas on my plate, my plate is full and I like what I have.

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