So here it is. Real life. I email people, I contact magazines, I get proposals ready, I hang flyers, take out ads have meetings, make phone calls...then....I get apathetic. Totally lazy day yesterday. I SHOULD go paint at the studio today, I think. Make sure I am seen. But then again, my pj's are warm, the coffee is hot and I have all the paint I need to finish the commission I brought home to finish last night. So I am lazy. I stay home and paint. I research a few licensing agents, and get overwhelmed. Start thinking, is this REALLY what I want? What do I want? What is life all about anyway. Why the f#@* is this so hard sometimes?? Yeah, yeah, I get overly philisophical until I get myself all worked up and not sure that I am even remotely on the right path in life. It get pretty bad. Must call best girl friend. Which is usually the solution unless she is in the exact same mode. And she just got off the phone with someone in the exact same mode. Uh oh. A big tri-state "what the hell are we even here for, really??" conversation. You know the ones. I realize that there is no answer, so I don't keep asking. I resign myself that today is not going to be a highlight kinda day. I pick my kids up from school and play make believe fairies with Sophie outside for over an hour. (we go hunting for treasures and build a little house for fairies, it is so much fun) I live in those moments. They are good. I went to bed kinda just there, but realizing those days are ok to have even if they are SO unsatisfying. Today is so/so. I am meeting a woman at 1pm that has a Chinese Crested dog. It is guaranteed to make me smile and love what I do again. Until then I am finishing the detials on the commission from yesterday and finishing small design jobs. But I just checked my email. Travelocity gave me a fare checker saying I could fly to Florence for $233. HELLO. Is that CRAZY or what?! I could just forget this whole silly pet painting business, take what's in my checking account and run off to Italy. Ya think?