I had to wake up at 5:45am this morning. For the first time in a long time I am not rushing in a frenzy. I am actually sitting with some coffee with a van fully loaded ready to go in about 25 minutes to a festival. Last night the show went really great. I had a lot of traffic and mostly from people that picked up my postcard. Mostly strangers. So good. I had wonderful comments. "Everything in here makes me smile!" "This art is fantastic!" "I just can't help but be happy in this house!" Every comment filled me with joy. Every smile from every adult and child makes every bit I do worth it. Right now I am far from rolling in money. I am not counting the bills and laughing on my way to the bank. Honestly? I just paid all my househole bills and my gallery bills and I think I might have some money left over. Might. Like $20? Ok, I am exaggerating. I forgot the $5 in my back pocket. But I have jobs coming in, freelance checks are due. It will work out. I will get commissions today at the festival and I will get some from last night. I am writing this to let the people that want to quit their jobs know that the reality of living your dream is different than you might think. You will work harder than you ever have. You will spend days in a row staying up until 1am or later, spend money for your supplies that you don't have, fanagle your bills so that you have money until the last possible moment. No matter what, you WILL stress out. You will wonder at times why in the world you prefer to live like this than to get a "real" job you can walk away from every day at 5pm and have a check to pick up every two weeks. And don't even get me started on my envy of healthcare plans. So why will you still do it? The answer is easy. You simply cannot do it. You will get to that moment when you won't care anymore. You will have to be who you are, create what you were meant to create. You will make it work because you will realize that it is far more stressful and paintful to not do what you know you are meant to do than the stresses that come along with it. And then after all your hard work, someone buys a painting, orders a commission, or simply walks into your dream and beams with a smile so bright that you know you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. And that, that makes everything worth it. I am living my life and doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now at this moment. And it doesn't matter if I am doing it exaclty right, or if I am making mistakes or most of the time I haven't a clue as to if it will work out in the end. I make people happy with my art. I can't tell you how filled with joy that makes me.

Wish me lucky today. The reality is I need to go grocery shopping soon, so some sales won't bother me at all! ;)