So I decided to simplify. And I listened. I have been calm and enjoying life. True, is has only been two days, but two days without anxiety is worth noting. As a result of not stressing about meeting impossible deadlines or trying to do projects that have not proven to be financially profitable and instead concentrating on thing that are tried and true, nice things have happened. See, I was ALL stressed about getting prints and cards and magnets and mini paintings done for my festivals. I decided to not accept any more design work and do prepare instead. Now, I will let you in on a secret. None of my cards sell at my fundraisers, and while I have a whole bunch of mini paintings on display, people are still ordering customized ones. So, all this work to make things does nOT sell, but DOES produce commissions. And I am finally embracing that. I am not a product artist - I am a pet portrait artist. That is what people buy from me. So now I am faced with the lovely fact that I am completely ready for my festival as is. I have a good 20 paintings to display in my tent and all I have to do is make a few more signs. Which pretty much frees me up. So I decided to just be open to some more design work should it come in. Yesterday I was dropping off the files to the printer for the poster and mailer I did ( http://www.abeytacreative.com/poster.html and http://www.abeytacreative.com/mailer.html ) and they asked me to do 2 more projects and work onsite for 6 days. One of the projects is a magazine spread and one is a once a month newsletter that will be ongoing. Niiiice. So I released my grip and my fear on projects that haven't provided me a penny and a tidal wave of no stress projects poured in. I got 2 new commission in the mail yesteday as well! Plus a golden retriever rescue has asked me to come set up a booth at their annual fundraiser this month! I guess when we listen, the universe like to let us know it was pleased!
Listen to what YOUR heart is telling you, like I always say, it won't lead you astray!

This weekend was a perfect fall weekend. The sky was a shade of blue that made you stare, not quite believing the luminous blue was for real-a shade so saturated it didn't seem possible. My husband did yard work, my kids ran in and out of the house, my dogs chased frisbees. And the whole time I had a gnawing uneasy feeling. I was supposed to be doing something, not just relaxing, enjoying the day. I felt like I was playing hooky. A year ago I imagined this moment. Making a living doing what I chose to, enjoying my family and my time with them. So why in the world should I not be completely at ease??? I explained my feelings to my husband to which he (a bit too quickly) replied, "It is because you can't relax! You can't just 'be' in the moment and enjoy. You always need to be thinking of your next great idea!" Wow. This annoyed me, irritated me, really steamed me up. A sure sign that he was exactly right. Ever since I was a young girl I have schemed to make money, had goals, plans, something in the works. It seems I am not happy if I don't have a bunch of things going at once. This past Thursday I took the morning off and I painted a painting just for me. It was so different than anything I have ever done and it was so freeing. At the end it was exactly what had been in my head and I was so happy with it. So happy I did another, then another. "Hmmm, I began thinking, I should do a whole series and contact some galleries..." See? I just can't relax. Can't just "be." So I really thought about all this last night. After a lot of contemplation I decided to simplify. That for the next few months I will concentrate on nothing else but commissions. I may draw or sketch for me, but no brainstorming on how it might make me money. That not only gets exhausting, but takes the pleasure of creating away. I will have more than enough work with my commissions. I am not going to offer holiday cards, or prints, or anything else. I will enjoy my holiday season by painting other people's dogs and maybe something else just for me. It is comforting to think that I am giving myself permission to enjoy what I have and know it is enough. I have the beginning of next year to try new things and see where it goes. I don't anticipate this will be that easy at first, but simplifying sounds really nice right now.