I wonder, why is it that when things tend to be bad, downright abysmal, alot of times we find reasons why we deserve it. "I didn't work hard enough, I should have tried harder, I should have been more helpful etc." But when things are going amazing, wonderful, better than we could hope for, we tend to think we DIDN'T deserve. "Wow, I sure got lucky, how in the wolrd did I pull off that, how crazy is it that that happened?" Maybe if we reversed our first responses, instead thought, "Well sometimes bad things just happen, and wow, my hard work is really paying off-that sure feels good!" Today I am enjoying the fruits of my labor and relishing in it. Tonite I will reward myself with a nice Merlot, the movie Frida, and actually NOT working until 2am for the first time this week. I worked hard this week and I was rewarded. And I deserve it.

Wow. I am still processing yesterday's experience. First I went to a design meeting and contracted to do 3 play illustrations for a college over the next few months. Half the money up front. Then I went to see the owners of the doggie daycare where I hang alot of my paintings. I showed her the art I was going to show the folk art/gift store next. "Oh! I want to sell that here too! How many can you give me??" I took her order for some chalkboards and as many "Mini Smiles" as I could get her by early next week. Well. THAT is nice! (I love the women that run this place, they truly are the sweetest people I have met in a long time.) Then off I went to the next place: Donna Van Gogh's in Candler Park. Gulp.

I went and parked, got out my art, and walked the short block to the store. The owner greeted me so warmly and friendly that I was immediately at ease. Once I began showing her my art, she got really excited. "Oh, you are going to do SO well here!" My second gush of the day. She then proceeded to show me art all over the store and things that I could make or do to my existing art so that I could create a range of products to sell. She said make sure that you create art from $1.50 (cards) to your paintings ($200). She said then when someone loves your work, they can have it even if all they have is a few dollars in their pocket. Smart lady. So I am making cards and magnets (which she ASSURED me that printed right off my computer at home will sell no problem). She said get busy on Christmas ornaments too. You can't make enough for me to sell." I thanked her for calling me, saying she had just made my day. "No," she said "thank you, you made MY day!" (Um, could that be any cooler!)

I left the store reeling. I am so excited!! I have so much to do, but in a very good way. She pays once a month on the 15th. She said any inventory not sold after 45 days will be returned. She again ASSURED me, she doubted that would ever happen with my work. Wow again. And here is the coolest part. When I bring her in all my work she is clearing out the main store window for an entire display of my art. My art. I could cry. The feeling washing over me right now as I write that and realize how amazing that is. That last year at this time I would practically cry on my way to work, knowing that I was so not in the right place. That I was not meant to sit in front of a computer making banner ads and web graphics. I could literally feel my heart deaden a bit as I pulled up to work. And the people there were wonderful, it just was not where I was meant to be. I thank God everyday that I had the courage to take a leap of faith. To not hold on so tightly to the security of an every two week pay check with benefits and follow my heart. Oh, I have had my fair share of months where the money simply was not there. I am not saying that it has been smooth sailing since I quit. Thank God for flexible landlords, and car companies, and utility bill companies. They all were griacious to let us pay late many, many times. But month by month those late payments are getting less and less. It is a pretty amazing feeling to know that all the little sayings you tell yourself and you hear are true. "If you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed." "You cannot fail if you do not stop trying." I still have lots of hard work ahead, and hopefully always will, but I am so blessed that I truly do love what I do. I wake up knowing that I am going to make something for the sole purpose of making someone else smile. And that is such a gift.

Throughout the past year many of my client's have asked me if I sold work in this one particular store. It is a really great, ecclectic, very cool store that I have always loved. I have always been intimidated about bringing my work to any store and just kinda put it off. Last week the owner of this same store called ME. Crazy! Someone had brought her my card and said that she should carry my work. So today I go show her my art and see what happens. I enjoy getting feedback and hope this is something that will work out nicely. I usually try to have no expectations and just see what progresses. Then I can find any positive twist on the situation after it happens. I will fill you in on the details later. Wish me luck!

"We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." ~ Nelson Mandela

When you believe in yourself and move towards your dreams, you begin to shine. Take it a step further and help someone else begin to shine. Someone out there you know needs encouragement. Drop everything you are doing, pick up the phone, write an email, send a letter, turn to the person next to you and say, "I BELIEVE in you. You can do this." Imagine if we all had that in our lives. I believe in every single person with a dream can have what their heart screams out for them to have. One footstep in that direction is a footstep closer and signals the universe that you are ready. So either take that step, or help someone else to. Watch the light glow bigger and bigger.

Ok, so I eat, breathe, dream, pray, and meditate about work. That's not unhealthy, right? Ok, maybe a wee. But I LOVE what I do!! My husband helps keep me in check and forces me to stop and sit every now and then. I seriously could be creating or thinking about work every single second of the day and it can be so hard to stop. Yesterday I completely took the day off and mowed the front and back yard, cleaned the entire house (HATE cleaning), played with the kiddos and packed most of my husband's things for his trip to NH. I also made a very good spaghetti sauce if I do say so myself! Pent up energy from not creating????

So, why am I writing all this? Because this morning at 6am I dropped off my husband at the airport. I am happy for him that he gets to go do something he loves so much. (he is going on a photoshoot) But, MORE importantly, I can go CRAZY with work! I can work from the minute my kids go to school until I pick them up. Then I can work again when they go to bed until the wee hours of the night. And NO ONE to tell me no, NO ONE to feel neglected. Woohoo!! Now, I don't do this all the time, so I am not being unhealthy, but all you creatives out there can understand. Our brains our going a million miles a minute constanly thinking about what we could create next. And we constantly cry, "I just need MORE TIME!" So that is why I am so happy!! I have more time for the next two weeks!! I already put some new things on my website. Go peek around and find my "Mini Smiles." Guaranteed to make you smile...