About three years ago I remember sitting in an office hating what I was doing (but loving the people) and going from blog to blog to blog. First Keri's, then Elena's, then Alex's. It would tear my heart out. Why, couldn't I have the life I wanted to? I just wanted to create MY art for a living. Is that REALLY too much to ask. Others do it. Why not me?

I let the dream grow slowly. VERY slowly. I doodled. I daydreamed. What KIND of art could I do and make a living from too? I had no idea. About six months later I sketched my first dog on a side walk. A sweet little girl said I should do it for a living. I laughed, but a light bulb went on. A week later I painted my first dog portrait. Four months later I painted 22 more. In about 2 weeks. Whew. A week later I rented a booth at a festival. A month later I quit my full time job. Two years later (in October it will be 2 years) I am opening up a studio.

I got no money for start up costs people. Seriously, not one extra dime. Yesterday I bought a cell phone for my business line. I was able to do that because a commission came in and I got a check from a logo I did. Every time I turn around something happens that makes this dream easier. For example I went to Home Depot to look at their "oops paint." (It is all I could afford.) Sitting right there on the shelf for $5 a gallon were two perfect colors. Perfect. It keeps happening over and over. I still have moments of freaking out, but then I think, what have I got to lose? I am starting with nothing, so I can only go up. It's not about making the money, it's about living the dream. Living this life. Loving the moments. Even the hard ones. None of this happened overnight. But it happened. It happened because I refused to let my dream die because of fear or slow times or money problems. I have no idea what the next few months will bring, but I feel alive and happy and excited. And that makes it all worth it.

I am grateful for gorgeous fall days that make me happy to be alive no matter what is going on in life.

I am grateful for having the courage to risk even when it makes my heart pound and my stomach ache.

I am grateful for friends who get exctited and support what I want to do in life and believe in me more than I think I believe in myself.

I am grateful for being able to pretend I am a confident, strong business woman even though I look at my little girl and realize she is far braver than I.

I am grateful for doors that open so wide so that I can't possibly mistake that they are open for me.

I am grateful to believe in God so that when it all gets too scary I can ask him to carry my burden for me so that I can breathe calmly again.

I am grateful for the lows that I have had so my highs are that much sweeter.

I am grateful for a healthy body and mind that allows me to do all the crazy, wonderful things I want to do.

I am grateful for waking up each day and knowing I have the freedom to make any choice I want.

I am grateful for the people in my life that are there to help pick me up after I fall down from some of those choices.

I am grateful that despite all the "ouches," God gave me the determination to keep getting up and trying it one more time.

Thank you, I am so very grateful.